the boys are too refined

Big Bang Theory

( spoilers )

***

Castle

I don't think I like Beckett's hair. It's too...helmety. Or something.

( spoilers )

*happy sigh*

Castle is my happy place.

Now I need to sleep because I have to be in early tomorrow for meetings. Ugh.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/99055.html. people have commented there.

your ears tuned to the roar
Supernatural; Jo, Ellen; pg; spoilers through 5.10; 1,510 words
In which Jo grows up.

Thanks to angelgazing for handholding and title-wrangling.

( your ears tuned to the roar )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/98389.html. people have commented there.

Sigh. My cake didn't rise, and worse, it tastes like failure.

*crosses that recipe off the list*

On the upside, there was reviewing of yuletide source. Now I just have to figure out what I'm writing.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/98189.html. people have commented there.

Okay, this is the plan for hiatus:

1. yuletide
2. Broken Toys
3. the 5.10 story I'm working on right now (I keep having to stop because it's making me cry! That never happens to me when I write!)
4. The Dean-Michael dream story
5. Drought Conditions (casefile)
6. Nothing but Winter in my Cup (casefile)
7. the Dean/Sam/Pam story

That's quite a lot, considering November and December are usually the time of my fannish malaise.

This song is not helping with the crying, iTunes!

Now, though, I think I am going to bake a cake.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/98022.html. people have commented there.

Oy, this day. Or, well, yesterday, at this point. The less said, the better. And did I mention I got my period this morning? oy.

I left work late - I think I was the only person left in the office - and all I wanted was to come home and watch this week's Friday Night Lights. But the file I dl'd wouldn't play on WMP or QT or even VLC. I updated DivX and it wouldn't play on that either. So I deleted it, rebooted, and redownloaded, and it worked.

I thought I might actually get through the episode without crying. I don't know why I thought that. I don't think it's ever happened, and it certainly did not happen tonight.

Friday Night Lights: A Sort of Homecoming

( spoilers )

***

Okay, I just asked this in meret's comments, but ( spoilers for SPN s5 that's aired so far )

***

*yawn*

Man, I totally need to sleep.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/97606.html. people have commented there.

Supernatural: Abandon All Hope

Okay, so I tried to do a rant section and a non-rant section of this post, but the ranty stuff kept intruding. So while I really liked many aspects of this episode, the rage kept intruding. Just so you know.

( spoilers )

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/97045.html. people have commented there.

So I watched the Space promo for tonight's SPN.

( spoilers for the promo, speculation for the episode )

On a similar, but not quite the same note, faye_dartmouth has an interesting post about the issues she has with the show in s4 and s5, and while I don't agree with a lot of it (I am more optimistic about how the end game will play out, at least in terms of Sam and Dean and their relationship), I think her point about the apocalypse is sound.

The thing is, they used to connect with the people they saved - they used to save people because people needed saving, and they used to get some satisfaction out of it. At least Dean did, and I think Sam was getting there.

Stopping the apocalypse means, yes, saving 6 billion people, but it also tends to make them 6 billion faceless, unknowable people. I said this way back in season 2, but this kind of arc always draws things inward and narrows the world when it should expand it out - instead of concentrating on saving people! hunting things! Sam and Dean are themselves hunted and in need of saving, and the lack of connection with the people they are saving hurts the show as much as the fact that they can't really go all out and give us a real apocalypse. Last week's episode was a nod towards earlier seasons, when they did connect with the people they saved, but now they spend too much time being backed into corners and having to save themselves, and it's just less compelling to me that way (the same thing happened in the later seasons of BtVS and Angel, so it's not like I wasn't expecting it).

( casting spoilers for tonight's episode )

Meh. I am PMSing and cranky. Hopefully tonight's episode won't give me more reason to be.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/96852.html. people have commented there.

Criminal Minds

( spoilers )

Glee

*facepalm*

Could we have one woman on the show who isn't crazy, scheming, manipulative, or simply around to serve the men's storylines?

Also, ( spoilers )

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/96738.html. people have commented there.

Work = busy and will be from now until 12/1, when we have our board meeting. I just wish they'd stop springing surprise!committee meetings on me at the last minute. The time to tell me you need a committee meeting is two months ago, when I was scheduling all the other committee meetings. Not yesterday afternoon. Oy.

So my writing brain is pretty fried and probably will be until after 12/1. At least yuletide source has been acquired, and will probably be reviewed numerous times.

Tonight, I left work right at 5 pm (usually I saunter out at about 5:15) so I could get home and change because I was meeting fleurdeleo for a super sekrit sneak preview of "Nine". Except that apparently, the super sekrit sneak preview of "Nine" was last Tuesday night, and she'd confused the dates. So we went to the diner for dinner and chit chat.

Since I was home by 8, I stopped off at Associated and bought some dried cranberries and slivered almonds and an orange so I could make innie_darling's orange-cranberry-almond loaf, and it smells absolutely fantastic. Tastes good too, although my oven apparently runs hot and I probably shouldn't have cooked it the full 55 minutes, because the edges are overdone. Ah, me. I should have learned from the banana bread. But otherwise it is very tasty.

So writing might not be happening, but at least there is baking?

In TV news, I watched The Good Wife and ( spoilers )

***

There's something adorably failtastic about Peyton Manning and Alyson Hannigan in those MasterCard commercials.

*hides from amberlynne*

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/96271.html. people have commented there.

I woke up this morning at 4:52 am and had one of those middle of the night freakouts. Ugh. Then I fell back to sleep and dreamt that the train I was on derailed. Thanks for that, brain! Nobody was hurt - it was just a convenient excuse for me to be unable to get to work. Clearly I need to be independently wealthy so I can stay home all day and watch dvds and read fic. WHY HAS THE UNIVERSE NOT SEEN FIT TO PROVIDE ME WITH THIS LIFESTYLE?

***

I am not a Sheldon/Penny shipper (or, as some of them call it, Shenny. Which will never stop being hilarious), but if I were, last night's Big Bang Theory would have put me over the moon. As it was, I thought it was hilarious. ( spoilers )

Actually, I did read a casting spoiler for BBT, ( casting spoiler )

Castle as always, was adorable. ( spoiler )

***

So I am victoria_p aka musesfool at AOOO. I've been fiddling around with uploading stuff and I think the importer is nifty, even if you still have to do a shitload of editing once you've imported stuff (stripping out headers and code etc.) and adding fandom and character tags etc.

I will probably attempt to upload the year of stuff that I never managed to put up on my site before I switched to the WordPress version, but I just can't be arsed to move everything. I've got over 700 stories, and even if I don't bother with drabbles and first line ficlets etc., that's still probably, like, 500 stories. That just ain't gonna happen.

Otoh, if there's some way to import the non-LJ remix archives, I would be all over that, because I don't want to lose those stories but I also can't maintain that database. Hmm...

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/96042.html. people have commented there.

copracat gave me the following words to talk about:

discussion
I love discussion! Debate! Argument! I have been known to debate whether it's day or night! I've been known to dispute things I agree with, just to keep the conversation going! I have been known to pull out the dictionary to win arguments! To me, it's a normal mode of discourse, the back and forth, the rambling tangents that help me figure out what I think about things, and that occasionally change my mind. I started out in online fandom on discussion newsgroups, and discussion of the sources I love is what I came to online fandom for, and even more than the fanfic is what makes me feel engaged and excited about a source. I mean, fic can be a solitary pleasure - amirite, lurkers? - you never have to interact if you don't want to, but discussion - you need someone else to bounce ideas and theories off of, to multiply squee and talk you down from rage. At least, I do. Once I don't have someone to discuss a source with, I don't stop loving it, but I may stop being fannishly active about it. It's the lifeblood of my fannishness. Even fic, in a way, is a discussion - with canon, with fanon, with my own stories and other people's - and it certainly fosters discussion and relationships - a lot of the people I am friends with now, I met through leaving or receiving comments on fic, or on posts about sources we have in common. Discussion! It's what's for dinner awesome!

Xander
Okay, so I mentioned above that I came to internet fandom via discussion newsgroups, and the second of those was alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer, soon after Becoming 2 aired. That was the summer of Xander Lied! A flamewar discussion that went on so long as to become legendary. I was on Xander's side, of course. I still don't think he did anything wrong in that particular situation, but I don't really want to revisit the topic here and now.

Anyway. What I love about Xander is that even though he has no special powers, no special destiny, he's just a nerdy loser who somehow never even gets trained in basic self-defense, he throws himself into the fight over and over again, because once he knows what's out there in the dark, he can't not. He can be bitter and angry and resentful, he can hold a grudge, but he's also loyal, funny, and kind, and smarter than he looks, and he will have your back when you need him when the apocalypse comes knocking, and he'll find a way to help you win. Because he's awesome like that. Xander! ♥

rock
I don't even know what to say - music is so fragmented these days, so niche marketed that it seems almost ridiculous to talk about rock'n'roll and have it mean something. I mean, the history of rock, of R&B, of country, of doo-wop and Motown - it's all rock to me on one level, before it splits out into genres. Most of what I listen to is rock - alternative rock (or modern rock, as we called it in the '80s), classic rock, hard rock, southern rock, angry chick rock, pop rock - right this minute, my iPod is playing "Love Reign O'er Me" as covered by Pearl Jam. I am less hung up on genre than I was as an indier-than-thou teenager - nowadays, I like what I like, mostly without regard to the labels the music comes with - and I wish there were more public outlets for that kind of mixing and mingling. Have I mentioned that NY radio sucks? So I don't really listen to it anymore, and that makes me sad.

New York (it's one word, Frank says so)
Frank! I love New York! There's just something wonderfully alive about walking down the street here - on one of those unexpectedly warm days in February, or when it's a beautiful spring day in March, or a cold crisp night in November - there's an energy, a powerful belief that anything could happen at any moment, and that even though we don't know each other, on that street in that moment, we are all in this together. It's corny, but I do feel like my heart swells with love sometimes when I walk down the street, even when I'm just going to CVS or picking up my laundry or whatever. I love the neighborhood I live in, where I can walk to the movies, to the bookstore, to a great bagel place and more restaurants than you can shake a stick at. Where I can hop on a bus or subway to go to someone else's neighborhood. I find it energizing, even though it is also very fatiguing sometimes to live here.

poetry
I love poetry. I find the way it uses language fascinating, the way words and images can double back on themselves, invert, subvert. The way so much emotion can be packed into something tiny, something regimented, something that is both subject to and free from rules. I love that it can contain itself and its opposite, ideas that seem jumbled but with the right rhythm, it all makes sense. I think my fascination with playing with structure and tone in stories comes from my love of poetry. I write to the rhythm in my head.

***

*yawn*

I am very tired. I dreamt last night that I woke up late for work (at 8:46 am, which is usually when I'm arriving at the office), and called in to say I was late, and then I woke up *in the dream* and went to work and told one of my co-workers about it. Even in my dreams I have anxiety dreams. I don't even know.

***

I posted a story last night:

swim in my blood when it's warm
Supernatural; Sam/Dean; pg; spoilers through 5.04; 3,434 words
Sam's seeing everything clearly now.

Talking about playing with structure - this is built around the five senses, and started out mostly as a way to make myself write more sensory detail, more vivid imagery, so it's pretty plotless and very schmoopy and features the staples of my oeuvre: boys doing laundry,brotherly banter, insults, and references to Pinky and the Brain.

***

Ugh. I suppose I should work now. Sigh.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/95836.html. people have commented there.

swim in my blood when it's warm
Supernatural; Sam/Dean; pg; spoilers through 5.04; 3,434 words
Sam's seeing everything clearly now.

Thanks to luzdeestrellas for betaing and to angelgazing and amberlynne for handholding.

( swim in my blood when it's warm )

~*~

Feedback is adored.

~*~

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/95677.html. people have commented there.

Holy shit, you guys, I was so panicked about a couple of the sources I offered to write (not being able to do them justice) that I totally blanked on some of the things I did offer, and OMG YOU GUYS, I GOT THE BEST YULETIDE ASSIGNMENT EVER!!!

Ahem.

Assuming it's not like two years ago, where they snatch the awesome from my greedy little hands, that is.

Of course, I realize now that I don't actually, um, own the source. That shall have to be remedied shortly. But ZOMG! YULETIDE ASSIGNMENT = AWESOME!

I mean, I'm sure 500 words in I will hate it with the fiery vengeance of a thousand suns, but, you know, right now, the shiny hasn't worn off yet. *g*

If otoh, you have stumbled over here because I am your (probably not very awesome, sorry!) yuletide assignment, here is my dear writer letter.

To reiterate, optional details are optional, and please have fun. I'm sure whatever you do will be awesome, because I asked for four awesome fandoms!

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/95265.html. people have commented there.

I woke up at 8:20 this morning and that was it, I was done sleeping, even though I went to bed at 2 am. Sigh.

Since I was up, I made these popovers, which came out really well. Only one of them deflated. Hopefully they freeze well.

Last night I made apple cake again, with Fuji instead of gala apples this time (not planned - just what I grabbed in Food Emporium on the way home), and it is good too. Plus, the whole apartment smells like cinnamon while it's baking.

Then I watched this week's Friday Night Lights.

( spoilers )

In slightly fewer words, oh, Show...

***

Maybe I will take a nap now.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/95123.html. people have commented there.

White Collar

I am totally crushing on Peter Burke. <- that is not a spoiler.

He's cranky and rumpled and competent and smart, and did I mention cranky? I find that kind of irresistible.

( spoilers )

***

So I keep checking my gmail, waiting for my yuletide assignment, and then I remember I signed up with the unfit address and I check that one instead. *facepalm*

Speaking of assignments, I sent out the Broken Toys assignments tonight. We got a whole twelve people participating (including me and ranalore, and you wouldn't think it'd be that hard to match that few people up, but there were a couple of tricky things. I managed it, though. Or, at least, I haven't heard back from anyone in horror yet anyway.

Now I just have to decide which prompt to write.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/94910.html. people have commented there.

shaggydogstail articulates my problems with last night's episode in a pithier way than I managed.

sistermagpie also has a good post discussing the gender issues present in the episode.

( spoilers )

So in a very large nutshell, that is the stuff that made me so unhappy.

Just so it's not all whine whine moan moan, the thing I did really like was that ( spoilers )

***

I am trying to decide whether my desire for a specialty iced coffee beverage outweighs the fact that it is ridiculously windy and possibly raining outside. Hmm. Dilemma, dilemma...

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/94648.html. people have commented there.

Bones

( spoilers )

***

Supernatural: The Real Ghostbusters

( spoilers )

hit enter too soon, if you saw this post while it was still incomplete.

On the promo for next week: ( spoilers )

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/94239.html. people have commented there.

They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die. Grief, terror, love, longing-these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight. They carried shameful memories. They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and perfect posture. They carried their reputations. They carried the soldier's greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to. It was what had brought them to the war in the first place, nothing positive, no dreams of glory or honor, just to avoid the blush of dishonor. They died so as not to die of embarrassment. They crawled into tunnels and walked point and advanced under fire. Each morning, despite the unknowns, they made their legs move. They endured. They kept humping. They did not submit to the obvious alternative, which was simply to close the eyes and fall. So easy, really. Go limp and tumble to the ground and let the muscles unwind and not speak and not budge until your buddies picked you up and lifted you into the chopper that would roar and dip its nose and carry you off to the world. A mere matter of falling, yet no one ever fell. It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor. Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.

~The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

Thank you to everyone who's served in the past, who is serving now, and who will serve in the future, and to their families and loved ones, as well.

***

Criminal Minds

( spoilers )

***

Glee

( spoilers )

***

So Fox has canceled Dollhouse, which is no surprise, but honestly? If they were going to give us 13 episodes of something and then cancel it, I would have much preferred Sarah Connor Chronicles. The worst part, though, is that we're going to have to hear from crazy Joss fans about how persecuted he is. Which, whatever. He was dumb to go back into business with Fox after Firefly, but honestly the show was pretty dire most of the time. At least it was last season, except for a couple of episodes and Epitaph One. So I'm not really crying for him, you know?

***

There's still time to sign up for Broken Toys, the Dark Angel ficathon ranalore and I are running. I won't be doing the matching until tomorrow morning, if you want to sneak in there and sign up on the over night. Though as I mentioned yesterday, it is a very Max, Alec, and OC-centric bunch of participants, so if you are looking for Max/Logan, that's probably not going to happen.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/93988.html. people have commented there.

Dear yuletide goat:

It's that time of year again, huh? First of all, I want to say a big thank you for agreeing to write a story in one of my fandoms. I love them all, and all the characters I've chosen, so I will be happy with a story for any request.

Since it's entirely possible we don't know each other, hi. For tips about things I really like in stories, here are links to my past yuletide letters: 2008, 2007, 2006, and 2005.

As for this year, each pair of characters I've requested has a strong working relationship and I really like stories that show that, that highlight the partnership aspects, especially when they are equal partners. If you're writing smut, I love it when there is a sense of fun, that they're enjoying not just the sex but the person they're with. Banter during sex is even better than banter by itself.

I know I mentioned a pairing in each request, and I do love shippy fic, but it's not a requirement. Gen is totally welcome. I love stories about close friends and familial relationships as much as I do romance. Whether shippy or gen, I especially like insults as terms of endearment, and in stories, I prefer it when love is expressed in ways other than actually saying, "I love you."

I'd really rather not have stories that are dark and angsty - I like hopeful, not unhappy endings. In cases where it can't end happily, I really dislike despair. I need some kind of hope, some light at the end of the tunnel. I have a huge embarrassment/humiliation squick, so please avoid that. I am also squicked by non-con and sexual violence.

Mostly, I want the characters to sound like themselves and have fun hanging out with each other, because I love hanging out with them. These are all just possible jumping off points if you feel the need. If you've already got a story in mind, then go for it - I'm sure it will be fabulous.

If it helps, all the stuff I've written is indexed here and my recs live at unfitforsociety, which is navigable by tags.

This year, I feel like my requests were specific enough that I am just going to list them here without much editorializing:

1. The Middleman: The Middleman/Wendy Watson

( specifics )

2. Megan Whalen Turner - The Thief series: Eugenides aka Gen/Irene Queen of Attolia

( specifics )

3. Scott Lynch - The Gentleman Bastard Sequence: Jean Tannen/Locke Lamora

( specifics )

4. Warlock: Giles Redferne/Kassandra

( specifics )

I realize this sounds like a lot of requirements, but I really am flexible. I just know what it's like as a writer to get an assignment where you only match on one fandom, with one character, and the recipient just says, "Anything is great!" and doesn't have a blog or LJ, and doesn't leave a letter to guide you. So this is just a lot of blather that is meant as guidelines in case you're flailing.

I want you to write a story you enjoy writing as much as one I'll enjoy reading.

Thank you again, dear yuletide goat! You are the bestest!

~victoria p.

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/93709.html. people have commented there.

Because everybody loves an icon meme!

I used my DW icons, because I have more of them there, though most of these are on LJ too.

( 100x100 )

I could probably have filled this grid with nothing but Jensen Ackles and Katee Sackhoff icons. Heh.

Honestly, I could have put any number of icons in any number of slots - I love all my icons, which is why I have a hard time switching them out, even though I forget sometimes that I have some of them and never use them.

***

This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/93627.html. people have commented there.