InsaneJournal

ficlet: Denial, Brendon/Spencer, NC-17
Written for disarm_d's Orgasm Denial Pornomeme.

Denial
Brendon/Spencer, NC-17, 1,000 words.


"Stop," Brendon says, and when Spencer doesn't, he adds: "Please."

Spencer looks up at him, eyes wide and dark. His lips are shiny and swollen, his cheeks hollowed; and Brendon looks away, pressing his face hard against the pillow. He can't keep looking, he can't keep doing this – he can't keep watching Spencer's face, the shadow of his stubble, the sweep of his eyelashes, the curve of his lips – not while Spencer's got his mouth on his cock, tongue so soft and slick – because he's not even supposed to be doing this.

"Please stop," Brendon says again, but it's weaker this time, muffled against the pillow.

Spencer pulls his mouth from Brendon's cock in one long, slow motion, the suction enough to make Brendon's muscles clench, his stomach drop. He touches Brendon's thigh, the inner curve of his hip, and his palm is warm and almost damp. Brendon lets out a quavering breath, but Spencer doesn't move, his legs still bracketing Brendon's.

If he moved his foot, Brendon thinks, he'd be touching Spencer's cock through his jeans. It wouldn't be enough, but.

"I didn't think Mormons observed Lent," Spencer says. His fingers press a little firmer, and Brendon angles his hips up, pushing back against Spencer's hand.

"I already told you," Brendon says, like a second explanation would make it any better. "I just wanted to see what it was like."

"Hard," Spencer says, and leans down again, just close enough that his breath is hot against Brendon's cock. Brendon closes his eyes and can't decide if he wants Spencer to just get off him, leave him alone; or put his hand and his mouth back on his cock, and finish it just like that, suck him off with their clothes still mostly on, just to know what it's like.

"It's supposed to be hard," Spencer clarifies when Brendon doesn't answer.

"I wasn't getting laid at the time," Brendon says. "It was supposed to be easy."

"You aren't getting laid now," Spencer says, but he punctuates it with a long, broad lick to Brendon's cock. It's not fair, Brendon thinks – not fair that after all this time, after all that, Spencer finally gets it and it's Lent.

"I could be," Brendon says, and then shoves his head back against the pillow. If he just doesn't think about it, maybe it'd be fine – if he just didn't think about Spencer's mouth and hands and cock, and all the hundreds of things they could be doing but aren't, but can't, because he made this stupid promise.

Then Spencer's moving, crawling off and over, and settling down alongside him on the bed. He's turned to face Brendon, but Brendon just can't do it, can't turn to look back, because he's pretty sure that would just be the end of it. Spencer shifts closer, and it's bad enough – it's bad enough that he can feel the heat of Spencer's cock pressing through his jeans, pushing against Brendon's hip. It'd be worse, he thinks, if he actually had to watch while Spencer did it.

"So could I," Spencer says, his voice low. He puts a hand on Brendon's stomach where his shirt's pushed up, just below his belly button. If he moved his hips, Brendon thinks, he could get Spencer to touch him again – but he stays still, and thinks this decision would be so much easier if Spencer would just make it for him.

"So why don't you," Brendon says, with feeling. He thinks it might be misery. He's so fucking turned on, still so hard, and it'd be worst of all if he couldn't even get off while he knew Spencer was doing it with someone else.

Spencer laughs a little, right in his ear. "It takes two," he says, and puts his lips on Brendon's neck, just below the pulse in his jaw. Brendon can feel the heat of Spencer's lips slithering all the way down his spine.

"Last I knew," Spencer continues, a murmur against Brendon's skin: "you were telling me to stop." He pushes his hips a bit harder against Brendon, and it takes everything Brendon can give not to turn, not to shove down Spencer's pants and put his hands on Spencer's cock, Spencer's ass, and just fuck him until he can't even move. Then Spencer opens his mouth against Brendon's neck, and the pressure of his mouth becomes slick and hot and Brendon thinks: fuck it.

"Please," he says, and Spencer just – stops.

"I wasn't going to do anything," Spencer says, and lifts his mouth from Brendon's neck. It's cold with the wet, and Brendon shivers. Spencer says, "I just want you."

Brendon does turn at that. He twists in the sheets, a bit desperately, and kisses Spencer before he can even get a good angle. It's fast and sloppy, and Brendon can barely breathe, from the angle or the pressure of Spencer's mouth or he doesn't even know – he just wants.

"Please," he says when he stops to catch up. He twists his fingers in Spencer's hair, and brings their mouths back together; and suddenly Spencer's moving, not breaking the kiss, but fumbling with his own belt, his pants, his underwear. After a moment, he's back to pushing against Brendon, and crawling half on top of him, pants not even off, just shoved down, and then his cock is hot and heavy, pressing against Brendon's stomach.

"Shit," Brendon breathes.

Spencer murmurs something against his mouth, more a hum than even a word, and Brendon arches up, looking for friction, rubbing his cock against Spencer's thigh. Spencer's skin is hot, so hot, and Brendon settles his hands against Spencer's ass, pushing down.

Spencer breaks his mouth away from Brendon's suddenly, raggedly, and says, "You're sure you want to break Lent?"

Brendon lets out a long breath, and tightens his grip, pulling Spencer closer. Spencer gasps against his mouth, and it's about all the invitation he needs.

"With you," Brendon says. He twists his hips up, and thinks about just ripping off his pants. "With you, yes."